Updates

i could add this to the last post i made, what, 30 seconds ago, but nope. im going to be difficult
not much has happened. the scale says im about the same. the tape measure says i'm smaller. not sure if i believe either.
as for a social life, i actually seem to be getting one. score one for H. getting somewhere at least, right? finally got my first kiss, and bf. hes so frickin' adorkable (: being in love or lust or infatuation or whatever it is the best diet drug. last weekend was good on all aspects because i got to hangout with Him, some friends i hadn't seen in a while, and ate about 200 or so calories over three days. yippee. then i go and fuck it up. story of my life, right?
also, my moms bf ended up in jail. me and my mom get around a bit better without him around, so i actually enjoyed myself with her a bit. then she goes and bails him out. arg.
finally on winter break. so i can sleep and workout and sit around online at friends houses and noteat for a solid two weeks. no excuses. no period. no i-dont-have-time. no i have to get up early. the freedom is scary and exhilarating at the ame time.
lastly, all i've had today w/out purging or trying to is some black coffee with sweetener, and a couple of sips of a friends juice. then whatever i didn't purge for dinner tonight, and a couple sips of a drink that was basically liquid pudding. ick.
for tomorrow, i plan on maybe having a slice or two of dry toast, two packets of jello, coffee, waterwaterwater, tea, and thats probably it. 250-75 calories max (:
then if i workout for about an hour, lets say minimum of 300 calorie burn. and if i don't workout, ill probably go to the mall and walk around for 2-3 hours.
if not that even, ill just do a bunch of workouts in my room or where ever through out the day, and then a bunch before bed

Mkay, im done for tonight/today, however you look at it :b
Night
Xx - H

I fucking disappeared...

oops. i guess i actually had a few good days there. im going to miss that. i can already feel the normal slipping away, old habits gnawing back up my legs, trying to burrow themselves in the crevices of my broken innards. when i said good days, i just mean i actually felt ok. nothing was really different. still binging, still throwing up my dinner in the shower, the sounds masked by the water, bathroom fan, and my too loud music. wasn't restricting, but thats because i felt "in control" at the time, until it all came crashing down each night. shit... i don't think i'm going to be able to sleep tonight. once again. i just can't wait until the sun comes up, until it's appropriate to go home and escape my friends house so that i can work myself to nearly passing out tomorrow. yay. fml. i don't know what to think, what to do right now.

I'm sinking again.
Xx - H

Nothing really to report. havent been doing good or bad lately really. at about 140ish right now, give or take a bit since i had to eat the last few days to keep friends and family off my back. i really need to start working out to benefit the weightless. Lets start tonight, k? (:
besides that, i wanna be at 135 by christmas. not to hard, right? Eh. if i dont make it, imma be so pissed at myself. Wish me luck!

Love,
H

P.S.
thanks for the comments! I love each and everyone of you. I'm just to lazy to actually reply :b  Maybe i'll get to it next time.
Also, thanks to my new followers. 9 seems like a lot to me <3